Man I'm Bored

As I sit here at work, I wonder what everyone is doing at home. Realising that you are all asleep, as it is 3:45 in the morning. Aren't time zones and seasons weird? It is a strange thought and feeling knowing that I am so far away from the people that I love and miss - maybe it's just jealousy that you are (most likely) all in bed.

But the reality is that the world has never been smaller! I can phone any of you at any time - whether or not you are happy to hear from me at any time is a different story. I can MSN chat to most of you. I could even get my act into gear and organise a web cam so I could see you while I chat.

And yet, again I realise that you are all asleep. Going about your lives - indifferent to whether I am in them or not. I say that not in a depressing or sad-sack way, but in the reality that if you weren't to continue your lives as normal, and you focussed on the fact that I am not there, you would miss me more (than you do [or don't] now) and it would be pointless.

Would my time over here in jolly old England be better if I could see you all and hang out whenever I wanted like I could when I was at home? If there was a way I could teleport myself, or just jump in my (non-existent) car and visit, would there really be any point in coming to the other side of the world to both have a break from the normality and the comfort of my life in New Zealand?

And I get off the phone after my fourth call to our letting agent to find out if there is any further information as to when we might be able to move into our flat, knowing only that they will now contact another 'reference' - the airline Jenna will be working for, who of course has met Jenna once and had two phone calls with her - before we will be able to have the meeting to sign the contract and pay the incredibly huge bond and fee. I wonder if we will ever get into our own place, and out of the Bradford's house.

And when that day does come, what will it hold? Will it be all that we imagined. Having our very own bedroom, not having one room for our whole house. An apartment in town... not town like Auckland, but still it's in the centre of the town we live in. Close enough to spit on my bus stop - not that I would, or want to - but I could! Accross the road from a gym and a pub. 20 minutes walk away from the Bradford's house and 2 minutes walk away from the small movie theatre that gets everything about a month later than all of the main movie theatres.

Then I think about the fact that Jenna's job will take her away from me for 4 days at a time. She will go and hang out in L.A.; maybe go to Disneyland or Universal Studios - two of my favourite places in the world; maybe she'll just hang out in her swanky hotel room reading her book or watching TV. And I'll be at home, freezing my little behind off in the freezing cold English winter probably wondering what to do. Now I can think of a lot of things to do, but are they really worth not having Jenna with me? I knew that this would be the sacrifice of her going for this job and I know that it really is the best thing for her, and probably us both at the moment while there is so much for us to work out before we get back home.

Home... bringing me full circle to where I began this little thought.

I imagine what it will be like going home... seing the people that I love and miss - maybe it's just jealousy that you are (most likely) all in bed...