whatever

I am sitting here on this side of the world wondering why. There's nothing like losing something to help you to learn to appreciate it. Not that I've lost New Zealand, it's still where it was when I left it (I assume). But I'm not there and in comparison to the Ewww-knight-ed King-dumb, NZ is the best country in the world.

And the thought hit me on the way to work this morning, perhaps God is trying to teach a lesson.

Maybe until I am happy to be wherever he places me, he will never move me closer to where I want to be.

I think I need to learn to be content in whatever I am doing and wherever I am - easier said than done.

It's just so illogical, you know, about being a smurf. What's the point of living if you don't have...?

As I continue to watch Donnie Darko, again and again, and I continue to think about it while listening to the soundtrack on my way to work and keep trying to work out what it is about it that draws me back to watching it, again and again, I ask myself - why are we obsessed with interpreting things?

Why must Donnie Darko be answered?

Why can't we just enjoy it as a really original movie and leave it at that? Do we need to spend hours on the website trying to figure out what the password to level three is? Or finding the internet copy of 'The Philosophy of Time Travel' or Graham Greene's 'The Destructors'.

Well, OK, most of us wouldn't have done that - and I'm not saying if I did or didn't - but I'm teetering on the conclusion that actually I'm happy to not know why I love this film so much. But somehow that doesn't satisfy me and so I'll keep thinking.

"Oh, I have those too. What kind of emotional problems does your Dad have?"